The Aaron J. Clark Blog.

New blog for friends and family

2007-06-25T19:37:00.000-06:00

Based on the family's change in job status and the accompanying address change, the wife and I are going to be posting to a more intimate and family friendly blog. If you are a friend or a family or both, drop me a line, and I'll hook you up with all those goings on.

You’ve never seen him like this

2007-05-02T16:05:00.000-06:00

I’m not sure if I was drunk or not, but I am pretty sure I wasn’t in my right mind.

Wherein he throws his hat in the ring, owing mostly to his distaste and disgust with politicians, which is quite ironic, considering the topic at hand

2006-10-16T12:24:00.000-06:00

WHEREAS I really don’t care for the menu of political candidates that I've been offered, due to the fact that it seems that you have to be completely right of center or left of center and high in sodium, which we mostly know is unhealthy, and

WHEREAS this country is a democracy, except for certain areas where for some reason, it isn’t (but we’ll leave that topic for another day), and

WHEREAS there’s an old saying about “Put up, or shut up,” and I really am offended by persons who think it’s the other way ’round,

BE IT RESOLVED that I'm officially, (and yet, unofficially) throwing my hat in the ring for the Senate race, opposing incumbent and mega song-writing superstar, Orrin Hatch. I’m running as a person unaffiliated with any particular political party.

It isn’t that I have anything against Orrin. It’s just that I don’t have anything that I particularly like about him.

Now, the big question: “What Have You Got To Offer?” I’ve got a few ideas, but what would really be great, is if I actually leave that up to you, faithful readers. What do I have to offer? Offer comments below.

There is life after death

2006-10-06T16:08:00.000-06:00

Back ~~by popular~~ ~~by mediocre~~ ~~by some~~ without any actual demand, the ScrawnyWhiteGuy blog. I revived it for fun.

That’s it.

Really.

So go back to your knitting.

Bill Riley—Dude, Like We Totally, Like Salute You and Stuff, Man

2006-09-15T16:54:00.000-06:00

Bill Riley was my 11th grade trigonometry teacher. From him I learned the mathematical fundamentals of two dimensional objects: a² + b² = c² and tan θ = opposite / adjacent have both stuck with me for sum (pun intended) reason. (“If variety is the spice of life, then consistency is the meat of mathematics” has also stuck with me, but it isn’t some grand proof of the perfection of the universe. Or is it?) He had a very dry sense of humor, that my brother and I still remember fondly.

Well, it all finally became useful this week. I'm working on a program in Excel that will allow a person to select two cells, click a button, and then create arrows from each cell that points to the other. (Don’t ask why I’m doing it. It’s an auditor thing.) In order to figure out the coordinates of the arrow, I actually had to use tan and cos and sin. Amazing! Math applied in real life.

This one’s for Andrew

2006-04-17T21:33:00.000-06:00

Andrew. Since I know you're checking this, I thought I'd let you know that I haven’t forgotten you.

Inconceivable!

2004-01-07T07:25:00.000-07:00

For the second time in as many days, I am posting something on the site. Inconceivable!

Anyway, Julie’s Aunt or Uncle from Kenya passed around a survey through the email. Rather than clog everyone’s email servers with more stuff, I thought I’d just post it here.

P.S. I hope you all realize that this is a cumulative effort, so now I don’t have to post anything here for 6 months. Mwah hah hah hah <devilish laugh>.

The Survey

2004-01-07T07:20:00.000-07:00

Q: Last movie you saw in a theater?
A: Elf. What a hoot! I still giggle whenever I start thinking about that movie.
Q: Book you are reading right now?
A: Dutch. A Memoir of Ronald Reagan. It’s written by Edmund Morris, who also did the 2 (soon to be 3) volume biography of Theodore Roosevelt. So far, I’d have to rate it as “Pretty Good.”

The next one on my list is Benjamin Franklin by Edmund Morgan. What is it about guys named Edmund and presidential biography?
Q: Favorite board game?
A: Backgammon is high on my list. I like Chess sometimes, too. Oh, Hi-Ho Cherry-O is excellent, too.
Q: Favorite magazine?
A: The Watchtower. No question.
Q: Favorite Smells?
A: Home-cooked spaghetti sauce (I’ll send you the recipe if you ask nicely.), Polo for Women, and the first 5 minutes of a pinewood campfire.
Q: Favorite Sounds?
A: When I get home and everyone yells “Daddy! Daddy!” I also enjoy the way that the Brandenburg Concertos sound when you play them over a nice stereo system.
Q: Favorite Foods?
A: Homemade spaghetti, avocado fresh from the tree, Oreo Cookies, and free.
Q: Worst feeling in the world?
A: Sitting in your own filth. Don’t ask.
Q: The first thing you think of when you wake up?
A: “I hope that there’s milk in the fridge so I can have breakfast.” Just being honest.
Q: Favorite Fast Food?
A: I”ve taken a shine to the Panda Express.
Q: Future grandhild’s name (if up to you)?
A: Hmm... I’ve always been fond of “Moon-unit.”
Q: Finish this statement: “If I had a lot of money, I would...”
A: ...buy a monkey.
...buy an island
...serve a mission or two.
...quit working.
Q: Do you drive fast?
A: Not usually.
Q: Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?
A: Next question please.
Q: Storms—Cool or scary?
A: Like, for totally, like, dude, like cool.
Q: What was your first car?
A: That I drove? Dad’s 1987 Toyota Tercel Hatchback. That I bought? 1997 Honda Civic.
Q: Favorite Drink?
A: Got milk?
Q: Finish this statement: “If I had the time, I would love to...”
A: ...fill out more surveys like this one.
...visit my family.
...translate this thing to Spanish.
Q: Do you eat the stems of broccoli?
A: Do you mean the thick, woody icky stems, or the yummy, succulent, tender stems?
Q: If you could dye your hair any color, what would you choose?
A: Blonde, of course.
Q: How many different cities/towns have you lived in?

A: Here they are:
1. Magna, Utah
2. West Valley City, Utah
3. Pe�alolen, Chile
4. La Pintana, Chile
5. La Florida, Chile
6. San Bernardo, Chile
7. Curico, Chile
8. Uintah, Utah
A mission will do that to you.
Q: Glass—Half empty or half full?
A: Half full.
Q: Favorite sport to watch?
A: Football (Soccer to the yanks).
Q: Say something nice about the person that sent this to you.
A: Well, I forwarded this to my own email... Alice and Bob (and Matthew) are really smart persons.
Q: Under your bed?
A: Good question. I’m not sure.
Q: Toilet paper—Over or under?
A: Like 99% of the civilized world, over. The other makes me shudder.
Q: Morning person or night owl?
A: Today, morning person. Tomorrow, we’ll see.
Q: Over easy or sunny side up?
A: I think I’m going to vomit. Scrambled.
Q: Favorite place to relax?
A: I really like Skull Valley in the spring. Anywhere is good as long as my family is with me.
Q: Favorite pie?
A: Coconut cream.
Q: Favorite book in the Bible?
A: Isaiah. What a visionary!
Q: If you had only one wish, what would it be?
A: Duh. More wishes.
Q: Where would you live if you could go anywhere?
A: Probably Heaven. Good luck on that, though.
Q: Dream job?
A: Anywhere where I wouldn’t have to deal with certain persons who will remain nameless. Retirement would be ideal.
Q: If you could go on a date with someone famous, who would it be?

A: I’m happily married to someone who is better than famous.
Q: What kind of dog would you have?
A: A smart one that doesn’t shed.
Q: Five favorite movies of all time?
A: How anticlimactic! Anyway... here they are: Star Wars, Indiana Jones, Toy Story, The Remains of the Day, and Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon.

Hypocrisy

2004-01-06T10:52:00.000-07:00

My little brother, love him as I do for being the only one who reads this silly page, is, nonetheless, a hypocrite.

I think Jesus said something about hypocrites burning in hell with their hypocritical ways. Well, he didn’t use the phrase “Burn in Hell...” but we can read between the lines.

Allow me to quote from an email I received this morning: “Hey don't you think it's about time you updated again? You're approaching 3 months.”

Anybody want to guess how long it has been since he updated his? His page doesn’t even exist anymore. I think the internet police saw how stale and crappy his old content was, and said “Take him out.”

That’s all I'm going to say about that. Happy Andrew?

Other Happy News

2004-01-06T10:51:00.000-07:00

Anna has 7 teeth now and likes to furniture walk. James’s favorite pastime is (still) watching “woovies.” Julie has taken up sewing and preparing food storage. And finally, I have graduated somewhat officially (still waiting on the diploma) from college. If you know of anyone who needs a highly skilled manager/supervisor/information systems type with a background in accounting/auditing/geekiness, I'm willing to consider changing occupations. Let me know.

Long time, eh?

2003-10-13T16:53:00.000-06:00

Sacred Bovine! I knew I hadn't posted here for a while, but I didn't realize how inconsistent I've really been.

For all three of my regular readers (Okay. It's really two, and that's only if you count Andrew's split personalities.), I apologize. As you know from a previous treatise, I've been busy preparing myself for the GMAT.

In a word: Blech!

Lamentably, this may take up more time than I have to give, and I may not be freely sharing my private and personal information with you sick voyeurs (OK. Voyeur.) for a little while.

Until then, James likes StrongBad's songs about scrollbuttons. Jamesism: "Swing on my crib so I can scroll at you."

Everything I need to know I learned in Auditing

2003-09-07T21:59:00.000-06:00

Travis, our auditing teacher, was good enough to take some time during class the other night to talk about the real ins and outs of accounting. For instance:

Partners at the big public accounting firms make an average of $750,000 per year.
Companies hiring CFOs and Controllers typically look to public accounting firms for recruits rather than hiring from the inside.
The accounting firm where Travis works spends most of its recruiting dollars at a local university.

It makes me think about what I ought to do with myself apres graduation. Since the aforementioned university is so close, and so cheap compared to the alternatives, I should probably make getting in a top priority.

Getting In

2003-09-07T20:44:00.000-06:00

To get in to graduate school, one has to take the GMAT for the paltry sum of $225. Whoa! So I just shelled out my 225 clams this week so I can take a stupid test that will tell me what I already know: I can “succeed” in school.

Now I just need to take the blasted test, apply to the school, and get this over with.

Starting School

2003-08-31T22:35:00.000-06:00

I started school for the last semester of my undergraduate career this week. I’m taking three classes: Auditing, Corporate Finance, and Personal Finance/Insurance. All three promise to be excellent classes, all geared toward finance/accounting geeks like me. I’m pretty excited about that.

Jamesisms

James, my son, has recently taken to mixing up ideas and saying all sorts of cutesie things in the process. In no particular order:

“I live in Texas.” (Grampy lives in Texas. James saw Grampy a couple of weeks ago. We must be in Texas.)
While blessing the food: “Please bless the Cheerios® that they’ll be kind.” And, “Please bless to crackers to be safe.”
“Sanks.” (Thanks.)

There are plenty of others, but I’m being pestered right now to let him play “the dinosaur game” on the computer, so I’ll post and run and update later.

A surprise from Chile

2003-08-25T10:36:00.000-06:00

This week I got an extra nice surprise in my inbox. Luz, a friend of mine from Chile, found my name on an old mission website, and sent me an email. Her son, Mario Aarón, also sent me an email. She’s living in La Florida (a suburb of Santiago) with Mario, and says that things are going well for her.

It was really great to hear from her. I’ve been lax in writing to my friends in Chile, mostly because I can never find their addresses when I have the time to write them, but I hope that now we can keep in touch a little better.

I suppose I should tell you how I became acquainted with Luz, and how her son’s name is Aarón. Here we go:

My dad was a photographer for the LDS Church for many, many years. The summer after I was born (if I’m recalling the story correctly) he was sent to Chile to photograph the life and times of members of the church there. I assume that he was chosen because of his ability to speak spanish, but then, that’s neither here nor there.

The assignment was a rather long one, and my dad got to spend some time in Punta Arenas, where he met the Sánchez family. He showed pictures of me to everyone, somehow he and Luz became pen pals. They wrote letters to each other a couple of times a year, and when Luz had her baby, she named him Mario Aaron after me.

Fast forward to 1996: 19 years had passed since dad’s trip to Chile, and I’d been called to serve as a missionary in the Santiago South mission. Dad told me about the Sanchez family, and said that I should look them up. About the week before Christmas that year, I got a call from Luz, who came to visit me in La Pintana. She brought me a tie as a Christmas present (which I wore throughout my mission). I met Mario Aarón, who was a crazy 7-year-old boy, and who liked it when I made faces. Luz and I kept in touch on and off until the end of my mission, and I hadn’t heard anything from her since.

Not a day goes by that I don’t think about Chile, and all the wonderful friends that I made there. Those two years hold a lot of fond memories for me, and I’m so glad that I’ve been able to renew at least some of the ties that I have with that wonderful country.

So, now that I know that there are persons in Chile who may be reading this, I will be working on a Spanish version of the site. I hope to have it ready by next week.

Thanks to Dean…

This week’s post was written with Textile by Dean Allen. It seems like a pretty cool tool. I’ll be trying it out for a little while, and I’ll let you know how it goes.

Starting afresh

2003-08-17T18:08:00.000-06:00

After a few years of “publishing” this site, I've decided to start again. I've removed the archives, because I felt the need to start with a clean slate. (I apologize if there was anything that you really, really liked. Email me if you really need/want something.) The links are not yet fully functional, but hey, neither was WinXP when it was released by a certain company.

Anyway, the reasons that I wanted to start again are legion. Mostly, I want to be able to share what is happening in my life with my dad, who is in Texas, my brother and sister who are in Logan at school, and with my other friends who are scattered throughout the country and the world. I was also called to repentance by one of Andrew’s friends (Donna), who chastised me for never keeping things up to date.

Well, I'm going to stay up to date, if for no other reason than to do right by Donna. Expect to see weekly updates every Saturday or Sunday. So, I'll post something next week. Until then, I am going to work on scrawnywhiteguy.com, and help Andrew get ready to do his own publishing.